Dog owner gets $3,100 tab for bitten bark

A Pennsylvania man and his canine companion are being held accountable for the cost of three trees that fell victim to her penchant for bark.

The story, from the AP:

This summer, Tyler Port allowed his dog, Rossman, to run loose in a park. The dog apparently had a habit of chewing bark off trees, and Port was cited for failure to keep the dog under control.

John Iorio, the city's dog law officer, also is seeking $3,100 to cover the cost of replacing three honey locust trees, which a consultant said may die.

"Rossman," a pit bull, apparently also likes to hang from tree limbs by her teeth.

Do you think the dog and her 22 year-old owner should have to buy the Altoona park new trees?

Can't wait to see what area dogs will do to the artificial turf fields that are on the way in Howard and Anne Arundel counties.

-JACKIE SAUTER, Multimedia Editor

Man’s best friend gets royal treatment

As I recently discovered in my quest for the perfect kennel, the time of cold, concrete dog runs and warden-style kennel owners has … well … gone to the dogs. Where once you would simply drag Fluffy to a prison-style cell while you vacationed on the beach, now dog owners — with the inclination and the budget — can find such amenities as puppy massage, hydro-sessions and even “pawdicures” in many kennels.

Of course, you pay for what you get — and this kind of care does not come cheap. But for peace of mind and ease of guilt, more and more “parents” are checking their “children” in for a week of fun and frolic.

The trend of pampering our pets has grown precipitously over the past few years. According to Newsweek:

As the demographics of America have changed, so too has the nature of pet ownership. It used to be that most pets were bought by families. Now, the majority of pet owners, 61 percent, are childless — singles, unmarried couples waiting to have kids, gay couples, empty-nesters.

Invariably, these owners tend to treat their pets like surrogate babies, and they spoil them accordingly.

Naturally, this has captured the attention of the expanding pet supply industry — ready to reap the benefits with organic dog food, salon-quality shampoo and diamond-studded collars.

Now dog kennels are following suit, with acres of indoor and outdoor play, “cageless” boarding, climate-controlled suites and even classical music during naptime. Many also offer Webcams, so you can always check in on your favorite furry friend.

Your dog has a request: Please go on vacation.

Who has a story or a comment to share about pet spas?

- EMILY ARNOLD, Special Publications Editor

No heir, apparently...

The white Maltese dog that Leona Helmsley loved so much ($12 million much) might become a stray.

The Associated Press reports today that Helmsley's brother and the appointed caretaker, Alvin Rosenthal, 80 (who inherited $15 million of his own) is not interested in becoming a pet owner.

Now it's up to Leona's second choice—her grandson, David Panzirer. No word so far on whether he is a friend to the animals.

And the hits just keep coming.

You may remember from our original post that Helmsley requested the dog be interred with her at the family mausoleum once the pup goes to the great beyond.

Tough break: the cemetery says state law forbids animal remains to be buried in human graveyards (but don’t all dogs go to heaven?).

You'd think Leona's estate lawyer would have checked that one out...

Attorneys, we beseech you: what advice would you give your clients to avoid these estate-planning disasters?

-JACKIE SAUTER, Multimedia Editor

Heir of the Dog?

Two of Leona Helmsley's grandchildren will inherit $5M each now that the Queen of Mean has passed into the other realm, but the true winner in her death is Trouble, a white Maltese toy dog.

The dog was bequeathed $12M (or between $1M and $2M per pound – you should pardon the expression). No word on whether this is multiplied by 7 when converted to canine currency.

The downside: the fluffy heir's own remains must be interred alongside Leona in the Helmsley mausoleum once the 8-year-old Trouble kicks it (likely around age 14). Tough break, Fido.

Leona's other two grandchildren from her son Jay will inherit nothing, "for reasons that are known to them," she wrote in her will.

Putting aside the preposterous directives, here's my serious question:

Leona famously snarled "only the little people pay taxes" when she was convicted of tax evasion two decades ago. Unfortunately for Leona, the federal government does impose an estate tax on U.S. citizens and residents.

You have to wonder: does an estate tax apply to a Maltese? And if so, who has to pony up for the pooch and file Trouble's taxes?

And then, yes, there’s the heir-of-the-dog problem: once Trouble’s gone to that great boneyard in the sky, who gets the leftovers?

Any estate attorneys out there had to arrange for assets left to a pet? (Subscriber-only link.)

-JACKIE SAUTER, Multimedia Editor