Help wanted: Legal

After two terms with an MBA at the helm, the nation is likely to tap a lawyer for its next president. So says USA Today, The Nation’s Newspaper.

Of course, 25 of the 43 U.S. presidents so far HAVE been lawyers, but the American Bar Association says the percentage fell from 76 percent through the 19th century to just 39 percent in the 20th.

And in the current millennium, lawyers are 0 for 1, assuming you count George W. Bush as the only 21st century president.

But that could change in November ’08, since the three top contenders in each party are all attorneys. And yes, that includes newly announced Republican candidate Fred Thompson, who not only was a lawyer but played one on TV.

If that means Thompson (Vanderbilt ’67) counts twice, it would balance out fellow Republican Mitt Romney (Harvard ’75), who tends to play down his law degree and play up the MBA he got the same year.

Rounding out USA Today’s top six are Republican Rudy Giuliani (NYU ’68) and Democrats Hillary Rodham Clinton (Yale ’73), John Edwards (UNC Chapel Hill ’77) and Barack Obama (Harvard ’91).

All three Dems have spouses who are also lawyers, but Obama may be the first candidate to feature a law professor in his TV ads.

If you’re a lawyer looking for a job, it can’t hurt to have Laurence H. Tribe on your list of references.

-BARBARA GRZINCIC, Managing Editor, Law

Nontoxic solvent—the silent killer?

Following up our post from last week, today the AP reports that the substance found at a U.N. office in Manhattan recently that was suspected of being a chemical warfare agent appears to be a nontoxic solvent.

From the story:

Preliminary results indicate the substance was a nontoxic solvent, not the chemical agent phosgene, the U.N. official said.

“If it turns out to be something that was mislabled, we’ll need to find out why it was mislabled,” said the official, who spoke on condition of anonymity because the final results have not yet returned from the lab.

The U.N. has launched an investigation into how the substance ended up in the files for so long without anyone knowing what it was.

Before all you U.N. bashers get ready to blast away, just take a moment here.

I mean, any one of us would have easily misread something labeled “WMD” as weapon of mass destruction instead of washing machine detergent.

Paint thinner, phosgene — they’re not that far apart, folks.

We all should say thank you to the international community for confiscating Saddam’s stockpile of antifreeze and turpentine. The world is a better place.

-FRANCIS SMITH, Special Publications Assistant Editor

Don’t keep mummy waiting

Want a shortcut to Tut?

You should. The Franklin Institute advises you to get to the museum 90 minutes before the time stamped on your $32.50 ticket for “Tutankhamun and the Golden Age of the Pharaohs,” and one look at the line snaking up three floors to the exhibit hall is all the explanation you need.

On our Labor Day weekend trip to Philadelphia, my husband and I cheerfully estimated it would take at least another hour, and possibly two, to get from the back of the line to the leather ropes at the front. I say “cheerfully” because we were doing the math while we breezed past the huddled masses (doing our best not to make eye contact as we passed them by, and passed them by, and passed and passed and passed them by), thanks to the VIP passes that came with our hotel package.

You say “elitist,” I say “efficient.” And not a little serendipitous. When we booked the package, we knew the VIP passes were untimed — meaning you can see the exhibit whenever you choose — but we didn’t know that VIPs get their own separate line. (There were four people in ours.)

Which means you can spend 90 minutes waiting in line, or spend the same 90 minutes enjoying a champagne brunch of eggs Benedict and lemon-ricotta pancakes with mixed berries at the Four Seasons, followed by a 10-minute stroll past the Swann Fountain to the museum and into the VIP queue.

Other hotels offer one-night packages starting at $185 per couple. You’d spend almost half of that on two “timed” tickets and parking at the Franklin Institute, if you can find a spot.

Sure, Ben Franklin may have been big on that whole penny-saved, penny-earned thing.

But what would the Boy King do?

—BARBARA GRZINCIC, Managing Editor, Law

Honest TeaEO out to save the world

Seth Goldman, better known as founder of Bethesda-based Honest Tea, seems to be single-handedly taking on global warming - at least, inside the (Washington) beltway.

Goldman hosted a press conference this afternoon (with special guests MoCo Executive Ike Leggett and Lt. Gov. Anthony Brown) to show off Honest Tea's new eco-friendly office space in downtown Bethesda and to announce the creation of the "Bethesda Green Zone."

It should be noted that many of the attendees were most concerned with getting their hot little hands on a pomegranate white tea with acai.

But I digress.

Truly "in the zone," Goldman and Honest Tea seem to be leading the environmental effort, setting goals of additional bike racks for Bethesda employees' use and converting area restaurants' waste grease into biodiesel fuel.

Anthony Brown hit the nail on the head when he remarked:

"[The O'Malley-Brown Administration is] trying to make advances in healthcare - you're doing it; trying to make advances in business development - you're doing it; trying to make advancements in environment and energy - and you guys are doing it."

Brown chuckled as he went on to say, "You're really holding the governor's feet to the fire."

Is it time for area business leaders to become community leaders - and partner with the state on issues like the environment?

As Seth Goldman seems to advocate, do small businesses have an inherent social responsibility?

If so, tell us what your business is doing on this front. If not, tell us why.

Above: Seth Goldman poses outside the old Honest Tea office on Wilson Lane in Bethesda.

-JACKIE SAUTER, Multimedia Editor

Score one for online video

In a start-of-the-season buzzer-beater, the NFL announced this week that its despised 45-second cap on online video will be relaxed for its broadcast rights holders - Fox, CBS, ESPN and NBC.

To sum up for readers unaware of the dispute: In June, the NFL instituted a rule that prohibited the media from posting more than 45 seconds of video per day that is shot at team facilities or features team personnel. Critics say the move was designed to force fans to visit NFL.com to get the goods.

The Sports Business Journal reported Tuesday that the TV networks "argued that their rights fees - averaging more than $3B a year over the life of the contracts... should buy them more latitude for online video than an unaffiliated media outlet."

Still in play: Exactly how much video the rights holders will be allowed to post, and whether affiliate stations will reap the benefits of their parent networks.

-JACKIE SAUTER, Multimedia Editor

Word play

As one who reads and writes news stories for a living, I am continually amazed and revolted at the bastardization of the English language by PR people who write news releases for a living. My pet peeves are the overuse of the words “leading” and “solution.”

According to Merriam-Webster, the “leading” definition of “leading” is “coming or ranking first.” The definition of “solution” is “(a) an action or process of solving a problem,” or “(b) an answer to a problem.”

The fallacy of using “leading” to describe a company is obvious: Not every company is a leader. And a “solution” frequently causes more problems than it solves.

Here is a sample of offenders, taken from one day’s perusal of releases carried on the PRNewswire and Business Wire.

“Stratos Global Corp. (TSX: SGB), the leading global provider of advanced mobile and fixed-site remote communications solutions, today announced …”

“GetWellNetwork, Inc., a leading provider of Interactive Patient Care solutions, today announced …”

“I4 Commerce [helps] to connect leading merchants with high value customers. … I4 Commerce’s payment and marketing technology solutions help establish and maintain …”

“CDW Government, Inc. (CDW-G), a … leading source of Information Technology (IT) solutions to governments and educators, and Discovery Education, the leader in digital video and multimedia-based learning …”

My “solution” for this problem is simple: Just eliminate these two words from the public relations vocabulary.

Imagine what that would do for the quality of business writing.

-PAUL SAMUEL, Associate Editor

No heir, apparently...

The white Maltese dog that Leona Helmsley loved so much ($12 million much) might become a stray.

The Associated Press reports today that Helmsley's brother and the appointed caretaker, Alvin Rosenthal, 80 (who inherited $15 million of his own) is not interested in becoming a pet owner.

Now it's up to Leona's second choice—her grandson, David Panzirer. No word so far on whether he is a friend to the animals.

And the hits just keep coming.

You may remember from our original post that Helmsley requested the dog be interred with her at the family mausoleum once the pup goes to the great beyond.

Tough break: the cemetery says state law forbids animal remains to be buried in human graveyards (but don’t all dogs go to heaven?).

You'd think Leona's estate lawyer would have checked that one out...

Attorneys, we beseech you: what advice would you give your clients to avoid these estate-planning disasters?

-JACKIE SAUTER, Multimedia Editor

Not exactly meals-on-wheels

KFC, Yum! Brand's cash-hungry chicken chain, has announced an "aroma-focused" product placement program to market their new $2.99 deal. The Wal-mart-esque price covers KFC chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy and a biscuit, all for less than Metro fare.

KFC piloted a "scent-focused" program in three cities, including the nearby District of Columbia, by having corporate mail carts carry plates of KFC chicken on their pre-lunch mail route through the cubicle maze.

"We couldn't think of a better way to showcase the value of our new $2.99 Deal than to inject the mouth-watering scent of Kentucky Fried Chicken into the corridors of corporate America," said James O'Reilly, chief marketing officer for KFC.

Sound devious? Very.

Am I hungry as I type this post? Getting there…

From the release:

To bring the sweet-smelling promotion to life, KFC collaborated with Chemistry.com in Dallas; the Trade Association & Society Consultants of Washington, D.C.; and the Chicago offices of the Salvation Army.

Anyone else wondering what the Salvation Army is getting out of the (hopefully-not-raw) deal?

-JACKIE SAUTER, Multimedia Editor

Down to The Wire

The Wire has reached the end of the reel…

Yep, after five years of portraying Baltimore as a den of sleaze and corruption with ambitious young politicians making hay out of troubled schools, rampant murder and drug trafficking, production has shut down.

And I, for one, am thrilled! Baltimore, a city beset with violence and drugs? Come on, gimme a break!

That’s not my town. Baltimore is a place where people BELIEVE and Get In On It, not shoot each other on the street. Portraying it otherwise is a disgrace and scares away tourists who are afraid of getting caught in the crossfire.

Right? Well…

There are those who have said exactly that—that The Wire has somehow helped give Baltimore a bad name, as if we haven’t done a bang-up (pun intended) job of that ourselves.

What do you think? Are you happy to see The Wire coming to an end? What do you think of it as a television show? What about the estimated $100 million in direct spending and $200 million in economic impact during its five-year run, according to the state Department of Business and Economic Development? Are you glad to see that go, too?

Sound off! Let us hear from you.

As for me, when I leave my downtown office before sundown today and head north on the subway to my home in the suburbs, I will shout out a hearty farewell. At least until the show’s last season surfaces on HBO, likely early next year.

-LOUIS LLOVIO, Business Writer

Ode to acronyms

There’s no question that we like it short and sweet in this country. Who needs to watch Entertainment Television when we can watch E! ? Why send the President of the United States to the North American Aerospace Defense Command center in a time of crisis when POTUS can go to NORAD?

Nobody creates acronyms better that the United States — or should I say U.S. of A.

Here in Maryland, with thousands of jobs coming as part of the military’s Base Realignment and Closure (BRAC) process, acronyms and abbreviations are going to become an even bigger part of our everyday lives. If we’re to survive the influx of the military and its contractors, we better figure out what they are saying…ASAP.

To help us out, the Chesapeake Science & Security Corridor — a.k.a. the CSSC, which is made up of the counties in central Maryland affected by BRAC — came out with a handy pamphlet called BRACANYMS.

BRACANYMS translates military speak for the average citizen or business owner. Some of the entries are pretty straightforward and already part of our everyday lexicon: AACC stands for Anne Arundel Community College; DPW is the Department of Public Works; MTA is the Maryland Transit Authority; HQ is headquarters.

Others, though, are perplexing and lead one to wonder: Is this English? Is this where my tax dollars are going?

There is NETOPS, which is how the military says Network Operations; RDECOM which is the Army’s Research, Development and Engineering Command; O&M, which is the government’s way of untwisting the complicated phrase Operations and Maintenance.

Then there is the PEO family with PEO, PEO C3T, PEO EIS and PEO IEW&S. As far as I can tell they have something to do with offices that manage a group of programs.

Sigh.

Do we really need guide to acronyms? Wouldn’t the world be a much better place without them? How about a ban on government acronyms altogether?

Which acronyms would you like to see disappear?

Send us your nominations PDQ.

—LOUIS LLOVIO, Business Writer